Just coz I can...rantings

First of all....What the heck...how I have missed my blog...its not even funny. Ati the Chinese blocked it. Nevertheless, if it involves a code then the code can always be broken...with the right skill of course...skill which I happen to possess. Suck on that Chinese ninjas(ninja=Chinese version of a nigga).
Secondly...these mosquitos have shindad...my housemates must think Im having a praise and worship session coz of the way Im clapping them down.
Thirdly...the heat...goodness!!! But walking topless outside is cool...something I wouldnt dare do back home.
4thly...I just feel like causing...as in...Im full of so much bout right now. Maybe it has something to do with the music Im listening to...(|(- -)|) Killswitch Engage!!! Then I have a drumset in my room...sometimes I take it out on it. I actually think Im getting better at it.

I had so much to blog about but now that I can all the thoughts have disappeared. Necessity is indeed the mother of invention. Im sure once I read a couple of nani's blogs Il have something to say
Good to be back though

Almost Lover...

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy for you
To walk right in and out of my life?

These are lyrics to song by A Fine Frenzy called...you guessed it...Almost Lover.

I hate the way songs have a way of rubbing stuff in. I always feel like calling her when i listen to this song. As if that would change anything. In fact now I've shibad...sasa now so what?!

Word...

Spoken word...but my words are not spoken

They are just but a small piece...if you like...a token

Fragments of evidence of a heart once broken

Cause and effect...MiKa...this persona was awoken

Loathe...hate...bitterness...emotions interwoven

Often mistaken for what they are not...golden

Word!

Spoken word...but my words are not spoken...they're written

A reminder of the past...of her...damn I was smitten

Most people complain about Cupid's arrow...shut up!...I was bitten

Then spat out like a fur ball by a cat called Mittens

Word!

Spoken word...but my words are not spoken...they're lame

Mainly because the rhyme after every sentence is just that...the same

Predictable...constant repetition...like my life...and Im the only one I can blame

I could go on forever with this one like Tetris...you know...the game

Ama naweza kuongea kuhusu huyo dame

Possibly even tell you her name

But I wont...I cant...Im like a dog on a tight leash...you guessed it...tamed

Word!

Im Tired...

Things used to be well and dandy when we were together. You guys used to say we are inseparable...

Where is she? Ask Melvin...

How's Melvin? Ask her...

When it was home time there was no doubt where we were going...and you guys never bothered to ask. Then came the separation...yeah it was rough for a while and there were the random awkward moments. But a year passed and still the same random moments....and this time they have nothing to do with me or her...its just you people...yeah you people!!!

Im tired

As in its over....finished. You dont have to stop talking about her when I walk in. That pisses me off like crazy...Ive shibad that vibe infact. You think you are trying not to be insensitive but please....let it go...you arent helping anything! You are probably the reason I took so long to get over her...

Im tired

If me and her are okay with things then what the fish is your problem??? You are the one who makes things uncomfortable between us. But one good thing has come out of this...I've perfected the art of acting like I dont care to the point that sometimes I actually dont!

Now comes the next problem...

Just when Im done with most of this vibe another girl enters the picture

Im tired...

Surely...

Now im just frustrated...time is just a gadget! Im meant to be doing some assignment but here i am...surely

I know too many fly ladies....or rather there are too many fly ones in my life. I always think that my wife will have issues with that. As in...i've just looked at the girls on my friend lst n im shocked how many i've thought about twice...n i dont mean that in a perverted way...ahhh you know what i mean. They are too many...surely

I have this theory that by now...if you're in University or graduated...you've already met your future wife/husband...its just a question of whether you know it or not. Take a pen and list the top ten ladies or men in you life and see for yourself. More likely than not...it shall come to pass. Somehow, people always end up with their friends...maybe its just me. So do i have a list? Of course i do! You dont expect me to write it here do you?...surely

I have acceptance issues....random...i try too hard sometimes to get people's approval or fit in...or at least i used to. Then i exercise restraint when it comes to mushy vibes...which is a good thing coz people tend to freak out...both dudes ad chics. Then to some, ok most...my ego gets the better of me...its a reflex i guess...i take things personally which i know i shouldn't. Then after that i lie and pretend like its nothing. I avoid confrontation when it comes to matters of the heart...i just pick up the pieces and walk off...ok this has only happened twice. Then the chic is even shocked coz i didnt cause a scene...ati you should be angry or something like that...but the only emotion i show is disappointment which looks a lot like indifference. Have you ever stopped to think that you're being selfish? I mean...you want me to shout at you and throw a tantrum because i have the right to? Negative...its just to make you feel better...i mean think about it...It kills you that i'm not slapping back doesnt it...Well that's just me. Now when did this blog become about me venting out these issues...surely

Just Thinking

I was just thinking about the future...

First about how I haven't finished drawing a construct that might take me 3 hours and here I am blogging. Its 12.45am so its safe to say I aint going to sleep. I was thinking how this blog was meant to be about something different but I just couldnt bring myself to writing it. Too much emotion involved...and right now emotion is an indulgence i dont have time for (Line from Matrix Reloaded)

 I was thinking about summer break...I know its a bit early but a nigga needs something to make him look forward to the next day. I miss Kenya...its not even funny. Mostly my friends...I miss my folks but I dont miss being around them...haha! On the real...I dont! In fact I was thinking of sleeping out the first day I touch down. But thats a bit too extreme...so I'l sleep home for the first night or two. Oh and then there's the "You've changed nonsense"...as in thats the worst logic I've ever heard. Maybe its you who's changed. Everyone changes, evolves or whatever you like to call it. What makes the difference is that we're not around to witness the metamorphosis. For example...if I got a tattoo while in Kenya...it'l be ok...no biggy. But if I come home with a tattoo...guys will be like.."He's changed, he even has a tattoo these days!" What the hell?!

I was thinking about the new lingo that will have come to be. But since most of my pals speak English it wont be a problem catching up...plus I've been chatting with them a lot. The problem will come with my ghetto brothers...the Sheng' speakers. I experienced that problem first hand when I came to China and heard one of the Kenyans who's been here for a while saying Ponyi meaning Police....marrrdd loling. Then when I called one of them sonko they all looked at me! Fun times indeed.

I was thinking about the new couples...always makes me laugh. I laugh until its my turn. Thats enough for that topic!

 

MiKa

So now...

I was just wondering...is there like a bloggers manual? Coz Im at a loss about what write...or rather what NOT to write. There's so much yaani...blabla fishcake and gibberish things.

Do I write about my ATM...oh i mean my biological Y chromosome donor...if you havent yet gotten it, I mean my paternal predecessor...if you still havent gotten it just give up coz there's no way Im going to say father. It would be full of so much bitterness and resent, n I might end up driving this keyboard through the screen...ok thats a bit extreme...Id end up throwing this burger at the wall...yeah I have a chicken burger with me. So sweet!

Do I write about my disfunctional family...most of which I dont know. They only surface when I achieve something that makes them proud...go figure...but i guess its not their fault...is it? Most of the people I call cousins aren't...then those who are my cousins no one would believe me if I said so...Ati Im forcing to be related...WHAT THE HELL...stay with your DNA!

Do I write about girls?! This topic seems to get everyone's attention. I've had my fair share of drama with chics, girls, ladies...the works. Its like One Tree Hill...I think I would fit quite well into that story line. Should I write how I've ingiad leaves with chics...or how I've been shown tricks by some...And there's always the story about the one that got away...thats always interesting.

Do I write about my dreams, my talents...my gifts?! Most of which I've watched fade away coz of the 'Bapo' factor as I like to call it. Don't get me wrong...I'm greatful to Bapo for very many things...but like all social niches there is always something the social standing will rob you of...or mould you into...sorta like a cause and effect gadget.

Do I write about spirituality or the lack of it thereof?! How I go to church and play every instrument...how I know everyone and everyone knows me. Or should I write about the nights spent in the club...on the dance floor sucking face with chics...downing shots of Tequilla...Tell me what am i supposed to write about

MiKa